Lately, I keep remembering I have a blog. It goes like this.
*RUSH OF PANIC*
“Oh God. I haven’t posted anything since December. OH GOD.”
*Put it off–have to finish scene…*
The trouble is, the longer I go without posting, the more I end up telling myself I need to come up with something super-epic to make up for it. So I decide I’ll do it later, when I’m not up to my neck in The Adversary (NB: I am always up to my neck in a book. I don’t know why I ever think that’s not going to be true) and I have spare brain cells to devote to coming up with interesting and entertaining posts.
You know what, readers? I love you, but screw that. I don’t like blogging. I don’t like wading into the fray on hot topics. I don’t like “building my brand.” I don’t like worrying about coming up with something AMAZING that maybe no one will love.
But I also really don’t like quitting and I definitely don’t like leaving my blog sitting here. So I may not have crossed the threshold for awesomeness, but I have definitely crossed the threshold for “get your act together lady.” (That’s possibly the worst sentence I’ve ever constructed. Forget it–we’re rolling with it.)
After all, I do not let this feeling stop me when I’m writing–and hoo-boy! do I ever get it. What if I get this bit of Realmslore wrong? What if everyone thinks I’m saying this not that? What if everyone reads this book and hates it? What if nobody reads it at all?!
I have learned–as basically every writer who has these thoughts has learned–to ignore them. To indulge them, if at all, only briefly and in the company of a peer who knows what I’m talking about and knows to say, “There, there. You said that about the last book, too. Shut up and write now.” To put these thoughts, quietly, to use, and get shit done.
(Also, apparently, to confess it on my blog in order to make me feel obligated to keep posting. Sneaky me!)
This is, I suspect, the only way to deal with this anxiety–roll with it. ‘Cause it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, and neither am I.