Extra Life Update!

I don’t like hospitals.

Let me rephrase: Hospitals are great. But oh my god, I don’t want to be in them–hospitals stress me out, big time. They feel chaotic and impersonal and my brain keeps going, Bad things happen here, you know. Maybe down in the base of my head I’m remembering my first visit to the hospital–ten years old with a broken arm and no one would tell me what was happening, because, you know, I’m a kid who’s so wound up they’re thinking general anesthesia. I remember trying not to think I was probably going to die.

So when Tiny Mr. I took a spill this week and split his chin open, my first step–post band-aid–was to call his pediatrician.

“You should take him to Seattle Children’s,” the nurse said.

No. No, no, no. It’s okay. It’s really–see, it’s not that big a cut and he’s a pretty chill kid. You can probably hear him in the background shouting about how he totally landed on his feet like a boss. I’ll get out a ruler–it’s…okay it’s a hair over the half-inch limit. Well…okay, bring him to the pediatrician and they can probably stitch it up.

Readers, they could not. They washed it out and lo and behold, that cut was deeper than it looked. Also, Tiny Mr. I was NOT KEEN on having it washed out.

“IT STINGS!” the tiny mister screamed, thrashing against me and the doctor as the medical assistant irrigated his chin. “IT STIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!”

“You should take him to Seattle Children’s,” the pediatrician said. “They can sedate him.”

No. No, no, no. Echoes of being knocked out that first time–I don’t want to traumatize my boy. I don’t want to go to the hospital.

But then, who really does?

“I’m scared,” said Tiny Mr. I on the way across the lake. “It will sting again. I don’t want to go to the hospital. I’m too nervous.”

“That’s okay,” I said. “Hospitals can feel like a scary place. But everyone is there to help you. They’ll give you special medicine to make sure it doesn’t hurt or feel too scary. This is a special hospital, just for children.”

“THEM WON’T LET YOU COME IN?!?!” Tiny Mr. I shrieked.

“No! No, no, no. I will stay with you–I have to stay with you. They know that. But Momma couldn’t get her cut fixed here. They are just doctors for children.”

Seattle Children’s Hospital feels a little scary. It’s a hospital after all. But for an emergency room this place is amazingly calm and peaceful. And colorful. We walked in out of the pouring rain and into a little woodland-decorated room. They gave Tiny Mr. I a hospital gown so he could get out of his wet clothes, and put on a movie for him to watch while we waited.

Good god, these people know what they’re doing: It didn’t even sting a little, and he didn’t have to be sedated.

They let him watch cartoons with a topical anesthetic on while we waited for a Child Life specialist to come on. She explained the procedure in terms a four-year-old could understand. Then while they injected him with the full local anesthetic and stitched his little face back up, she held an iPad over his head so he could watch WordGirl while I snuggled him. All fixed up, she gave him some toys while we waited to be discharged.

In the whole spectrum of reasons to visit the hospital, five stitches on the chin is nothing compared to what Seattle Children’s Hospital does for the many children Extra Life helps support. But I for one will be eternally grateful that they made sure my little boy left his first hospital visit with only one thing on his mind.

He hopped off the hospital bed. “Let’s go get that Slurpee that you said I could have, remember?”


I have $75 dollars left to raise before I have a character to play in Extra Life. If I don’t get there soon, I’m going to have to pony up the difference myself and just drop all those votes on Raedra. I look fab in a crown.

Donate Here: http://www.extra-life.org/participant/159887

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Extra Life Reward: A Tiny Mr. I Story

I promised last week that if we raised $150 by the end of the day, I would tell a Tiny Mr. I story. (After discussion with the Hubs, we’ve agreed we shouldn’t post the video of this event, since Tiny Mr. I is in his underpants and even we have limits as to how far we’ll embarrass Future Not-So-Tiny Mr. I.)

Tiny Mr. I is my son, and he’s at an age where he’s pushing boundaries. In the wrong circumstances this makes him an incredibly whiny, bratty little booger.  A “threenager” as I’ve heard it called. This is exacerbated by his wild, D&D-tinted imagination. Tell him the rule is that he must brush his teeth? POOF! He cast a spell and took that rule away. Tell him he has to wait for other people? POOF! He made a wish that everyone would disappear.

It is adorable and maddening.

Earlier this week, Tiny Mr. I wanted some crackers and he wanted them in a pretty little ceramic bowl we have. We have a set of these, but at least half of them have broken. There are three left and the bowls are not made anymore, so they’re not for crackers in little boy hands. I offered him crackers in his choice of a melamine bowl instead. No. Unacceptable. It must be the ceramic bowl. I did not budge.

Tiny Mr. I begged. He nagged. He argued. No dice.

So he cast a spell on me to make me change my mind. POOF!

And what happened next is among my greatest parenting triumphs.


Me: Whoosh! My shield spell goes up.

TMI: No, because my spell is too powerful, it just goes through your shield, because I am a really powerful wizard.

Me: I’m the Sorceress Surpreme. I’m the Chosen of the Goddess of Magic. Don’t step to me, son, I do this for a living.

TMI: *scrunches face* POOF! I made you—

Me: POOF! I turned you into a turkey.


At this point, I start giggling. I can’t stop. There’s a strong chance I have just cracked completely.


TMI: No, because I just have a spell that just makes any spell against me not work. It just POOF! Turns me back into a human. Sorry.

Me: What’s that? “Gobble, gobble, gobble”?

TMI: NO. I said I’m [Tiny Mr. I]!

Me: “Gobble, gobble gobble”?


I turn to my husband. I am laughing so hard I’m crying and I don’t stop until we’re done. This is when he starts recording all this nonsense.


Me: In turkey-speak, “Gobble, gobble, gobble” means “Hi, I’m a turkey!”

TMI: Momma! I am not a turkey. I’m a human being.

Me: “Gobble, gobble, gobble”? That means, “Look at my fancy feathers!”

TMI: MOMMA!  I just want the bowl!

Me: “Gobble, gobble, gobble”? That means, “I know better than to ask my momma sixteen times for the same thing.” Silly turkey!

TMI: *half-giggling* I don’t want to be a turkey!

Me: Okay. POOF! You’re a glass of pancake juice. *Grab his leg.* Here’s the straw! Imma drink you up!

TMI: *giggling and squealing* No! No! No! Turn me back!

Me: Okay. POOF! You’re a turkey again. Better?

TMI: Momma, let’s stop pretending to be things.

Me: Sounds good, turkey. POOF! Now–pink bowl or blue bowl?


Did you enjoy this silly story? Seattle Children’s Hospital helps kids like Tiny Mr. I when they need it most! Don’t be a turkey: donate to Extra Life.

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Extra Life 2015

Dear Friends, Family, and Fans!

It’s that time of year again! We’re raising money for Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals and I need your help!

On October 3rd, from 8 am-12 pm, I’ll be playing D&D with my very favorite Dungeon Master, Susan J. Morris, authors Bruce Cordell and Keith Baker, and designer, Teos “Alphastream” Abadia. You can watch it on Twitch. Your donations will help shape the adventure and my character, but that’s not all!

Seattle Children’s Hospital treats thousands of children each year, regardless of their family’s ability to pay. These kids are facing scary stuff like cancer, cystic fibrosis, and injuries from accidents to name just a few, and the money you donate to make us entertain you, goes straight to them. (Your donation is tax-deductible and ALL PROCEEDS go to help kids.)

You can make a donation here.  Check below for rewards (and remember: the more we raise, the better the rewards get!)


Who’s it gonna be?

Just like last year, I’m leaving it up to you who my character will be. Each donation of $5 buys you one vote (so, for example, you can donate $25 and vote 5 times for your favorite, or split it and vote for everyone once, so no imaginary person feels sad).  Please note your choice when you donate or I can’t count your vote!

VOTE EARLY AND OFTEN! When we reach $500, I’ll tally the votes and choose the character. 

That will unlock a new set of goodies for the chosen character. Costumes? Side quests? Artifacts? Familiars? A certain adorable devil-dog? We’ll see!
Ootagenderqueer half-orc barbarian; wily neutral, appears in The Adversary. Oota is one part warlord, one part preacher, one part den mother and all badass. You don’t mess with her people and you won’t have a problem. She’s never been in the Underdark before, but she’s already not impressed.

Mira Zawadfemale human rogue; chaotic unflappable; appears in Lesser Evils and Ashes of the Tyrant. Mira makes a living as a Zhentarim agent even though she’s (shhh!) secretly working for the Harpers of Waterdeep. Her true love though is history, and as such, if she has to choose between you and an artifact…well…the artifact is irreplaceable! She’s been in the Underdark. Doesn’t recommend it. But both her employers are quite interested in what they’ve been hearing about a certain chatty artifact…

HRH Raedra Obarskyrfemale human fighter; dedicated neutral; appears in Fire in the Blood. As one of the Royal Family of Cormyr, Raedra should not be in the Underdark, but try telling an Obarskyr what to do.  Raedra is the kind of royal who digs in with both hands and a sword for the sake of her kingdom and her people. She’s not used to roughing it, but making a fuss about it would be terribly gauche.
Nestrixfemale drag–I mean, human fighter; neutral unnerving; appears in The God Catcher. Clytemmorrenestrix was a blue dragon, and then the Spellplague came and ruined everything, leaving her trapped in the body of a Tethyrian woman. Or maybe she’s crazy. Sometimes she (or maybe her spellscar) can bust out a little dragonfear. Sometimes she’s got lightning breath to spare. And sometimes she forgets her hands are squishy and just dives in unarmed. Bring on the funguses–she can zap them like anything else.

Mehenmale dragonborn fighter; lawful protective; appears throughout the Brimstone Angels Saga, but especially in Ashes of the Tyrant. Mehen has a past–evidenced by the clan piercings he doesn’t wear and the reputation that manages to follow him, even though he’s been far from Djerad Thymar for thirty years. Legendarily tough and absolutely done with your shit, Mehen is not keen on Zuggtmoy. Worshipping demons willy-nilly–THIS is how you get gods, people. Do you want gods all over? (I cannot promise any awkward Dad-flirting, but knowing Susan there is a distinct possibility she will make me do that).


Return of Havilar!female tiefling fighter; neutral badass; appears throughout the Brimstone Angels Saga; my first Extra Life Character. Havilar seems like a flighty young woman, until she gets her glaive out–then you’d best step back and see how it’s done. Expect surprising observations, wild “facts,” and for me to get the horns out again. Havilar has never fought a fungus before, but she’s heard that if you pelt them with parsley and breadcrumbs, they go down faster.


  • Oota: 0 votes
  • Mira: 0 votes
  • Nestrix: 5 votes
  • Raedra: 0 votes
  • Mehen: 0 votes
  • Havilar: 0 votes


Last year, you guys helped me raise $2070 dollars, over my original goal of $1800. That meant that you unlocked the creation of a replica of Lorcan’s scourge pendant. The winner, Lindsay Newsome, generously chose to auction off that piece and have the proceeds donated to Extra Life. During the fundraising drive, I’ll be running that auction. Stay tuned for details.

DM’s Player rewards

Our DM has graciously deigned to spread the love to the players. Mostly because she’s planning to put us through the wringer. In addition to making your votes above, you can choose one of the below to make things a little easier on your favorite character (…Mine. I’m talking about my character). Please note your choice in your donation. These DO combine with your votes.

For more information (or to be a big meanie), check out Susan’s Extra Life Page, here.

Jackpot ($Any)—For each $1 you give, that player character gains 1 extra gp to spend on weapons, armor, potions, etc.

Shot in the Dark: ($10)—Gift a player with a random potion from my potions and poisons chart! Will it be helpful? Harmful? Labeled? Who knows! But it will at least be entertaining.

Read the Fine Print ($20)—Gift a player free and instant identification of one magic item (including potions).

Potion of Healing ($25)—Give a player a potion of healing. They’re going to need it!

All Your Bomb Are Belong to Us ($25)—Gift a player with one of the following: alchemist fire, tanglefoot bag, acid, oil of slipperiness, or a glitter bomb.

It’s a TRAP! ($25)—Gift a player with the power of foresight. Once, right before triggering a trap, they will hear the legendary warning, and will realize their mistake in time to avoid triggering the trap. (They won’t know what or where the trap is, or how to disarm it, but they will know they almost stepped into it!)

Tymora’s Lucky Charm ($25)—Give a player a Luck Coin worth one reroll to use during the game.

Critical Success ($50)—Give a player an automatic 20 on a d20 roll during the game (use before the Player rolls).

Critical Failure ($75)—The player can make the DM roll 1 on any roll (use before the DM rolls)

How Much Is that Dragon in the Window? ($250)—Give one player a pet! This pet will have a stat card and attack on the player’s turn. Depending on the intelligence of the pet, they may be able to follow a few simple commands. Choose from: Giant Beetle, Spider, Badger, Raven, and Toad.

Deluxe Pet ($500)—Give one player a pet… dragon! This pet will have a stat card, be able to follow simple commands, and attack on the player’s turn. Choose from: blue dragon wyrming, white dragon wyrmling, and bronze dragon wyrmling.


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